Crying

So...about crying...It's something I do, a lot. Is that bad? I don't think so. I used to not cry nearly as much and often felt frustrated and mis-understood. Crying isn't something a lot of people like to see- many are uncomfortable around it. Maybe that is why I'm uncomfortable around a lot of people...I cry. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, tired, frustrated, lonely, excited, thrilled, mad, you name it- that is how I express myself. A lot of people think crying is bad- I'd have to say that for me, the exact opposite is true. Tom loves when I cry- whih makes me love him even more because he is just loving me for me- not for who he wants me to be.

I tried to play that game and be who I thought he wanted. He didn't like it and didn't want it. I didn't understand becaue nobody had ever wanted to see the real me. He saw through my facade and wanted me. That is what is so incredible.

Will I cry when I get married? Absolutely. Because I'm sad or scared? no way! Because I am happy, excited and thrilled to start anew life. Will it mess up my eye-makeup? I'll wear waterproof. Will it make the pictures funny? I'll wash my face. For me to not cry would mean that I am not fully present for the wedding and that doesn't work. I need to be fully present (100% Megan) for tom and for me- that is the only way we can get married. He doesn't want to marry a stage face, only a Megan. I'll be prepared with a hankie and I'm sure Bec will have tissues for me. Shoot1 She'll be cryin gtoo. The whole place will. So...see? Crying is ok. It's what I'm going to do. It's what I do now. I feel much better after I cry. Taht is my emotional expression.

The Ring!

My ring is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS! I keep staring at it- the diamond and the setting are just sooo obeautiful! It is perfect- it looks perfect on my hand, matches my personality, matches me. I love it! I love it way more since it is from Tom. Man...I am so excited about getting married! I have gone from I can't believe we are getting married to- I am so excited and can't wait!

We registered yesterday at Target- what fun! Perhaps later this week or next weekend we'll do the other stores...Rita wants to go to Macy's with us when we register so they can register too...I don't think so! Our tastes are so completely different- besdies, this is something Ijust want to share with Tom and not be swayed by others. That's fair, right? She also wants to do dancing lessons with us...again...I would do them with Tom and I but am hesitant about doing it with them. She is so freakin' competitive! Yikes!

Anyway- I am relaxed, calm, cool, collected and am just enjoying being engaged. It'll only happen once and I couldn't imagine a more beautiful ring. I am actually having a hard time doign work- dont' want to think about it! Anyway...speaking of work- I must get back to it...