Crying

So...about crying...It's something I do, a lot. Is that bad? I don't think so. I used to not cry nearly as much and often felt frustrated and mis-understood. Crying isn't something a lot of people like to see- many are uncomfortable around it. Maybe that is why I'm uncomfortable around a lot of people...I cry. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, tired, frustrated, lonely, excited, thrilled, mad, you name it- that is how I express myself. A lot of people think crying is bad- I'd have to say that for me, the exact opposite is true. Tom loves when I cry- whih makes me love him even more because he is just loving me for me- not for who he wants me to be.

I tried to play that game and be who I thought he wanted. He didn't like it and didn't want it. I didn't understand becaue nobody had ever wanted to see the real me. He saw through my facade and wanted me. That is what is so incredible.

Will I cry when I get married? Absolutely. Because I'm sad or scared? no way! Because I am happy, excited and thrilled to start anew life. Will it mess up my eye-makeup? I'll wear waterproof. Will it make the pictures funny? I'll wash my face. For me to not cry would mean that I am not fully present for the wedding and that doesn't work. I need to be fully present (100% Megan) for tom and for me- that is the only way we can get married. He doesn't want to marry a stage face, only a Megan. I'll be prepared with a hankie and I'm sure Bec will have tissues for me. Shoot1 She'll be cryin gtoo. The whole place will. So...see? Crying is ok. It's what I'm going to do. It's what I do now. I feel much better after I cry. Taht is my emotional expression.